And as she sleepily suckles in lazy rhythm, her eyelashes tickling their sun stained cheeks you reflect. Sprawled across you, their fingers in lyrical twitches to the song of sleep, play soaked feet claiming your nearest available limb. The fluttering punch of their heart that through luck or fate or cosmic bollocks has aligned atop of yours. You reflect. The pulsating fury that claimed your veins is now the puddle of tears that smudge away the punctuation of your regret. Breath in. Breath out. Breath. I love you, you whisper. Words sloppy and wet like rain drops or bird shit. You inhale them in their sleep as your heart aches with the ode to your remorse. Minutes pass and then the latch breaks, just for this, to say “love you more mama” . And bamf. Just like that, they’re asleep again. Just like that, you’re a little more whole again.