It’s the little things that dig our graves

Reasons why today was shit:

– Decided to rewatch the Twilight films for the hundredth time only to stop after the first one as my New Moon disc has disappeared.

– Pull hubz up on something we’ve argued about  extensively. Something which he agreed was wrong and he wouldn’t do. Only he did.  Yet when I pull him up on it (via texts as I was having an overdue lie in ) rather than say sorry or admit be was wrong he turned it around to make out I’m in the wrong for nagging. Once again I’m the one left feeling like shit.

– Having the audacity to be pissed off at me for daring to point out he was wrong he goes out with the kids. Seeing as I rarely ever take the kids out alone due to mental health this immediately absolves him.

– Spiralling moods that cycled rapidly.

– When I text to ask where they’re going and when they’ll be back I’m once again told to stop nagging.  He refused to tell me where they were.

– Go to wallow in the bath and my music isn’t working.  This is the only time I get to listen to it.  Mini speaker is fine.  MP3 player is fine.  Turns out the fucking kitten has chewed through the wire that connects them. Previously she’d chewed through the earphone wire too.

– Feeling incredibly alone and  dangerously low. Start to cry  uncontrollably until I can barely breath.  Imagine smashing head on bathroom tiles to make everything go away.

– Wanted to go out but ankle too sore and have no money.

– start panicking at everything we need to pay and buy before womble is here.  We have no money.  I appear to be the only one worried about this

– Feeling abandoned, trapped and lonely. Nobody to talk to so feverishly update here to pretend I’m not so alone.

– sobbing makes me hyperventilate.

– Over eat. Again.

– Took hours to do a blog post with much frustration

– Lovely day yet spent as usual inside and alone.

– Cooked a new recipe for tea. Was so disgusting neither me nor hubz could eat it.  Such a waste.

– Ankle hurts.

– Pelvis hurts.

– Back hurts.

– Kids won’t stop arguing.

– Usual clashes with the new nine year old, especially at the dinner table.

– The four year old tantrums at teatime.  Hubz responds with unhelpful tantrum of his own.

– The four year old throws an epic diva tantrum after tea, screams that he hates me,  throws a pillow at me, ignores me then screams and shouts at me, hits me and refuses to go upstairs.

– Fucking kitten has chewed through my phone charger wire.

– Allergies are making me want to punch my nose off my face.

– Worry about everything.

– Feel utterly alone

– Four year old took forever to go to sleep.


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