Fair to middling

& what if existing isn’t enough?  A lifetime of fair to middling. 

What if I want more?

I get this irresistible urge to do things just to say we tried.  We lived.  Just to feel alive. It’s as destructive at it is constructive.

The urge to break everything up just to start again.

The urge to make a statement in life.  To choose a direction just because we can. 

Like to move somewhere random that we’ve never been to start anew.

Just because.

Yet as always it won’t happen.  Can’t happen.  We are the victims of our own dependency.  The result of all that we lack.  The product of that which we don’t have.

I used to have dreams yet to dream you have to have the belief that they can come true.

I’m not a pessimist.

I’m a realist

Who realises we’re going nowhere.
And there lies the crux of it.

Nothing changes.  Going nowhere.  Being nothing.

Plodding along,  existing.

How’re you doing?  How’s life?

Oh you know,  fair to middling.  Fair to middling.

Dearest children,  want more. Make more.  Be more.  Do More.  Take more. More than me.  More than this.  More than I can give you and more than I can be.

Then at least it won’t all have been in vain. 

Because your dreams can come true.  I’ll make sure of that.

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