Sometimes I want to gather up all that matters. All that I really have. My beautiful children. The Husband.
And run. Away.
Away from this life. The one that I wanted more from. The one which I thought they’d have more from.
And start again.
I wish I had the luxury of choice. I feel trapped and dictated to my circumstance and necessity.
Even the freedom of choosing. … choosing where…. would be luxury.
It’s not wanting to be something new or someone new.
I’d settle with just being something. With being someone.
It’s like I waste every day waiting for my life to begin.
Only it never does.
One day time will run out. I will have wasted it wanting. Wasted it waiting instead of living.