Scan Day

The Anomaly scan (often called the 20 week scan even though technically it should occur anytime from 18-22 weeks) should technically be an exciting prospect.  Afterall, you already had the 12 week dating scan so supposedly everything is fine.  To be honest though, I’m bricking it.  Obviously i’m excited but there is always the fear too.  Especially as i’m still waiting for this pregnancy to feel ‘real’.  I’m excited to see the little womble again as it feels a small forever since the last scan but I just need to see baby, see them happy and healthy inside there and to be told that everything is fine.

One of the first things people seem to want to know as you approach your scan is ‘will you find out the sex?’  I know this is such a personal decision but for me, I always find out.  I won’t lie, I’ll be a tad gutted if baby is crossing their legs.  I don’t like surprises.  For me personally, as soon as I find out gender the baby becomes a full person, we usually have their name ready and start using it when referring to the bump and we can plan.  It’s not a simple case of pink of blue, it’s just another aspect that makes it all real, that makes this magical thing a full person.  It helps me bond with my bump because I know ‘who’ it is.  Every pregnancy and every birth is different and believe me pushing something the size of a melon out of something the size of a cherry is surprise enough thank you very much!

Yet it doesn’t stop there people then ask what you think it is and what you want it to be.

From the very bottom of my heart I can genuinely say all I want it to be, is okay.  I just want a baby.  Preferably a happy and healthy baby.  A mum with all boys is assumed to be desperate for a girl and vice versa to the mum with all girls.  A sonographer once told me many places had stopped telling the gender because some parents were choosing to abort healthy babies purely based on gender.  I was gobsmacked.  Who would do that?  How could anyone do that? To me that is utterly unthinkable.

This is another reason i’m pro finding out the gender, there’s nothing wrong with hoping for a certain gender but if you have your heart set on one and it’s the other at least if you find out at twenty weeks, you can get used to it and become excited.  I’ve read stories of people being devastated that their baby wasn’t the gender they hoped for.  It isn’t the babies fault!

I’m convinced i’m having a boy.  I’d love another boy.  I have two gorgeous amazing boys already.  I’d be very happy adding another little boy to our family.  I’d also love another girl.  I have one already.  I’d be excited over either.  However, if someone asked ‘if you could choose,…..’ I’d probably choose another girl.  This isn’t the same as not wanting a boy.  I love ice cream.  If someone bought me an ice cream i’d be delighted! yet if they asked me what flavour i’d like first, obviously i’d have a preference.  It wouldn’t mean I wouldn’t enjoy the other.  It’s natural to have a preference.   If I think boy and it’s a boy not only do i get the excitement of having another boy but I get the satisfaction of thinking ‘Ha! I was right!’.  If i think boy and it;s a girl I get a little shock and then the delight of having another girl.  If i think girl, and it;s a boy i’d still be over the moon BUT as fickle as it sounds girls clothes and shoes are incredibly more varied and cuter and it’s way easier to get carried away in your head so i’d be very happy but there would be that tiny second of ‘oh well’.  So, thinking it’s a boy is an absolute win win situation for me.

Generally we can tell by our names.  We are usually more in agreeance over one name than the other and weirdly we tend to have the gender who’s name we agree more on.  This time we have agreed on all but one of the babies middle names if it’s a boy whereas we sort of have a girls name but that’s about it so judging by past experience, there’s another sign i’m growing another gorgeous boy!

When they told me my daughter was a girl, I didn’t believe them.  I told them I was 98% sure it was a boy to which they said ‘well i’m over 99% sure it’s a girl!’  It actually took me several days to get used to it because it was the total opposite to what i’d been expecting.It was like someone telling me grass is really blue and the sky is green.

It’s all immaterial really though.  I don’t care what the gender is, i just want to know.  I hate not knowing things.  I’ve found out with all my previous babies and it’s like pregnancy finally started after being told.

Over ten years ago with my first someone told me if you eat a mars bar before your scan the sugar boost makes baby more active and thus more chance of showing their gender.  It’s become a bit of a ritual tradition now that before every anomaly scan I scoff a mars bar and drink Pepsi.  So, in my fridge is Pepsi and in my bag is a mars bar.  After saying that watch it fail me now!

Usually, following the scan we always buy our first baby item.  It’s usually a cheap outfit.  It’s more symbolic than anything.  Unfortunately we’re using our last pennies to get to the hospital and buy an extortionately priced photo so no shopping today.

So yes i’m nervous.  I just want to see our little womble.  That instant when they appear ion their screen and the world holds it’s breath.  Magic does exist because that moment?  It’s pure magic. I’m sure I won’t release my own breath until all the measurements and checks have been done.  In the past I’ve found there’s two types of sonographers, the silent stoic ones, who do everything in silence offering zero reassurance until the end and then the others, who happily talk to you about everything they look at and measure and make you a part of the scan, involving you.  Showing you. Needless to say I’m hoping for the latter.

I’m clock watching now.  I’m picking the youngest up from Nursery 30 minutes earlier then normal to make sure we get there in time.

It’s not just a baby I have inside me, right now it’s carnivorous little butterflies that are eating me in chunks.



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