19+4

I’m not actually sure why I’m posting this.  I may look pregnant but I can assure you it’s all flab! It’s squishy, grabbable tyres of cake.

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It was taken yesterday at 19+3. Tomorrow at 19+5 we’ll be going to the hospital for our anomaly scan!   It seems a small forever since we last saw the womble at 12+0.  I’m excited but more than anything in craving relief.  Relief gained from the reassurance of seeing baby happy and healthy in there.

I’m  suspecting that I have an anterior placenta again just like with my first two babies as I hardly felt movement with them.  With the youngest it was posterior and I loved feeling all the squirms, kicks and wriggles.  This will be my fourth so  technically I should have felt movement for a while now.  Granted I’ve had the odd occasion when I could have yet nothing definite yet.  I’d be lying if I said this didn’t worry me a little.  I am after all, a worrier.

I feel like I’m waiting to feel pregnant. Waiting to look pregnant.

With three children already you don’t get the luxury of losing yourself in your pregnancy. … To revel in it.

On the one hand I’m finding it hard to believe in nearly half way already. I want to jump and shout
‘Omg! I’m nearly twenty weeks!!!’ Yet on the other hand it’s also going ridiculously slow.  How odd that time can both drag and race simultaneously.

I’m aware this is my last pregnancy.  I’m hoping to savour it.   Yet at the same time in counting down the days.

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