I go through phases on my other Blog, the Bloggy one, of utter enthusiasm and sheer downright losing the will to blog. It’s such a competitive world out there in the Blogosphere, Sometimes it seems that no matter what you do or write, you may as well not bother.
Don’t get me wrong many of the top blogs are exactly that, top blogs but others I just don’t get. I read through some desperate for some substance and yet I can’t find any. I personally can’t be arsed to read through review after review after review followed by the occasional list of what they bought that day. When I read a blog I want an insight into the writer, into their world. I want what I read to make me think or feel, something. I’m not expecting pulitzer prize worthy stuff here just genuine actual content, something real. Sometimes it would appear that it’s more about the blogger than the blog, they have a large online presence, their own little cults of worshipers and people follow them because they appear cool or popular not because of what they actually write.
I’ll compare a top blog with a virtual unknown and find either very little distinguishing difference or else find the virtual unknown a lot more interesting!
It seems near impossible to break through, to ‘make it’ at times. It feels like you’re writing just to yourself. You fail to go up the ranks, hardly anyone bothers to comment, your stats are stagnant, you barely get a whiff of PR and nobody wants to read what you write. You feel like a berk. You convince yourself you can’t write for toffee and that you’re an irritating twunt who everybody hates. Yet you can’t for the life of you figure out where you’re going wrong. What’s wrong with what you write? What’s wrong with who you are? Why does nobody seem to like it/you and more importantly why do you even fucking care?!
You admit to feeling a little jealous at all the cool things people seem to get through their blog, huge ambassadorships with major companies like Cossato or Butlins and the like and you read about others who make enough money from blogging to actually register it as employment.
You can’t seem to get a look in edgeways. You can’t break into the inner circle.
You contemplate deleting it all. Everything. Because what’s the point even if you ignore your lack of page rank, crap domain authority and absence of PR opportunities there’s still the fact that no fucker appears to care about what you write. Very few share it, hardly anyone comments. Hell, hardly anyone even reads it. You’re just another blog in the ocean of blogs. You try not to care but it’s impossible not to get caught up in the blog posturing and competitiveness. It’s everywhere. It’s exhausting feeling not good enough.
Yes it’s petulant and churlish and close to a tantrum but really, why waste the effort? I’d rather just prattle to myself here, alone, about my everyday life and thoughts where none of the Bloggy stuff matters. Where i’m writing purely for sanity with no expectation of audience. Where I can be whiny and annoying and random because it doesn’t matter. That’s the beauty of a personal Journal versus a public Blog. You’re not writing to anyone. There’s no purpose, point or niche. No judgement. You’re just you, not a ‘Mummy Blogger’ etc.
So the boring stuff that actually matters, to me, documenting everyday life is here and safe and my opinions, rants and stuff that is written to be hopefully read and/or to incite thoughts/feelings will be kept on the Blog.
Because balance is often the answer to most things, right? Well that and copious amounts of Gin.